Bands vs. Friends

DEAR DUDE,

I play guitar and I attempt vocals, and to be honest, the only reason I can think of playing music or practicing an instrument is to enjoy it, and for me, that means playing live, in a band with a group of people who are your best friends. I also think that bands made up of best friends make the best, most genuine music. However, at the moment, all my friends who are musically inclined are unwilling to make any attempt to form such a kick ass outfit. So my question is this: is it better to try and make friends who will start a band, for that sole purpose, or should you always try to make a band with your best friends?

Thanks,
Friends Vs Bands

Dear Friends vs. Bands,

This is an interesting question. I didn’t know half the members of my band till they joined. Sure, me and the singer were great friends but we had met the other dudes at a few shows and really didn’t know them that well. I had to start jamming with people I didn’t know because simply, I didn’t know enough musicians. There was just no way I could have TAUGHT all my friends how to play music.

That being said, now I am older I have more then a few bands and side projects with many of my friends outside of my main band. My point is that you can do both. Sure jam with your friends, have a good time, spend time playing music with people you love. But that doesn’t mean stop jamming with new people or people that you don’t know that well. In fact I love meeting and jamming with new people. It’s how I’ve made some really cool new friends and it’s how I have been able to truly push myself musically.

It is, of course, important to be around people that you love and make you happy. So I would never recommend joining a band soley for money, fame, chicks, or any other shallow reason I left out. You just won’t be happy unless you like spending time with the people in your band. Sometimes the best moments of tour have been those wasted few hours sitting in a truck stop eating lunch, laughing, and just hangin with the dudes.

Its all about moderation, you have to find a place you can fit in musically and socially. All you need to do is be honest, friendly, open, and most of all dedicated and you will find your group of dudes to rock with! It’s the willingness to open your self up to new people and new opportunities that helps you become a better musician and well, a better person.

THE DUDE

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